Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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