That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
