Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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