If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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