Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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