so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
