M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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