She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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