in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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