In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
