And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
