I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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