you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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