yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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