I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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