whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
