Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
