i don't plan on having that self control this summer
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
