I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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