are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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