i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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