garbage
garbage dick
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you win
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
