They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
