I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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