wrigley field is MILF paradise
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
