Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
