You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
