3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
