my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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