i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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