the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
