Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
