woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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