just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
