He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So vagazzling was a success
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