i think my tv is drunk
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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