What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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