Where did you get a picture of my penis
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
did you just send me my own nude
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
