last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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