My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
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Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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