I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
