3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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