That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
