I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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