Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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