so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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