Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
