Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize