I think I am morally bankrupt
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
