Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
