So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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