Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
