we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
