I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
