Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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