he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
