I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
honey bunches of taint.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
