i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
