Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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