i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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